(c) Nothing's Insanity (G)

Title: Nothing's Insanity
Rating: G, because it's innocent.
Author: Myself
Genre: Humour, Short Story.
Status: oneshot; complete.
Summary/Exerpt: A quick story I wrote years ago. It's just a funny personification of concepts combined with some bad puns.

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Once upon a time there was nothing. Only Nothing. And because Nothing was alone, it lost its sanity in the cold, dark silence. Or at least what it thought was cold, dark silence. The fact that it believed it could actually feel, see, and hear, shows just how dellusional it was. The fact it believed that there is actually such a thing as feeling, hearing and sight show how deeply insane it was.

Nothing began to believe there was another entity like itself that it named Anything. So Nothing began searching for Anything. Anything, although only a figment of Nothing's imagination, decided it was real because it believed it was capable of being real. Anything also decided it didn't like Nothing and became paranoid that Nothing was stalking it. So it hid from Nothing. Nothing and Anything began believing they saw specks of lights because the only way to hide from Nothing is behind Something.

Something was a figment of both Nothing and Anything's imagination, but like Anything, Something decided it was real. Something became infatuated with Nothing and refused to let Nothing pay attention to Anything. It went to great efforts to make Nothing pay attention to it. This included making the specks of lights into giant flaming balls of gas because it wanted Nothing to believe it was hot. While Nothing was warmed by this act, it was still infatuated with Anything and held no lust for Something.

The flaming balls of gas decided that they weren't part of Something and they were in fact individuals, even if they were mostly imatations of each other (which is typical of stars). They all surrounded themselves with rock and ice and tiny balls of gas to protect themselves with. Predictably, the rocks and ice and gas decided they were real too.

Nothing, Anything, and Something began to realise that this was an entity with a serious multipolar disorder that they named Everything. While Anything continued to hide behind Something, and Nothing continued to search for Anything, Something decided to stop fighting for Nothing's attention and became infatuated with Everything instead. Anything decided it was afraid of Everything and hid from it as well as hiding from Nothing. This made Anything's paranoia worse.

You are a part of Everything, Something is obssessed with you, Anything is afraid of you, and if you're afraid of Nothing, just remember that it believes in you. How else would you exist?