Growing Up

Eleven.

I went to Australia with People to People, and I just had to take responsibility for myself and my actions. Some kids in my group were caught throwing coins at cars, and then were nearly brought to juvenile court. I just kind of thought, wow...we're so young, but they expect us to act like we're adults....
I had my first suicidal thought on that trip and afterwards, it was just when life started going downhill.

twelve.

i had to grow up so much over the course of the summer holiday, and learn to shut up and get on with things.

Five.

My father left home around this time to be with another woman and since I had two underage siblings in addition to myself, my mother had to go straight to work to support us and never had the time for any of us. My siblings are both more than five years older than me, but only about three years apart, so they saw me as more of an obstruction than anything and wanted nothing to do with me, despite how badly I wanted to be a part of the pack, so to speak. I was cleaning my own room (including sweeping and mopping) at this age as well as heating up my own soup (using chairs to reach the cans and scooting said chairs to the stove.). I never had any friends or anything, so I spent most of my time by myself, reading to myself and teaching myself basic skills (reading, writing, math.) through video games (Old school NES ftw!) and whatever books I had lying around. I never played aside of one specific video game. I always worked.

I was observed much during school because I was so far ahead of the class. They wanted to skip me up a few grades and discovered I had the reading level of a sixth or seventh grader at just age five. I wanted to skip ahead, but I was not permitted to due to my mum. Things progressively got worse as time went on and I had my first suicidal thought at the age of seven. I remember it so vividly too. It terrifies me to think about it. My school work came to a crashing halt around this time and I was put on ritalin to compensate, but it only made me worse. School counselors began to observe me around this time and ever since, I had to see one regularly. The rest is history.

^ I was 5 too, Serena.
It was when my mum left.
when she abandoned us on a strangers house and said she'll pick us up at 5.
She never came, so I, as a 5 year old, had to give directions back to my house, to find it surrounded by police cars.
I've had to look after my brother alot, and then my sisters when dad got remarried.

Twelve.

At this age, I taught myself to learn everything from cooking to sewing and all stages of livelihood all on my own.
I also found out how some people even the closest of friends can betray you, and who real friends truly are. I learned the difference between the right and the wrong, and for a whole year, I did the wrong. I also learned what I can forgive myself in and what I cannot. What my limitations were and what I had to stop myself in.

Although I don't believe one can grow up and not have any trace of kid left. I'm still a kid, and proud of it. I truly hate growing up. Growing up just seems like focusing on studies or a whole life devoted to friends and relationships. It disgusts me because I see that in a whole bunch of my friends. They don't seem like kids anymore, and I just appear as the most immature of them all. I'm proud of that title, though.

I grew up around the ninth grade.

I moved across the world, left everyone and everthything I knew to go "back home". Leaving home for home? And if that wasn't enough, I learned that there is no perfect. That mom and dad don't know all the answers. And that death isn't some faraway nightmare for the unfortunate.

I love being a kid.
It's wonderful.

kafka. wrote:I don't think I've grown up yet. Maybe, I've grown old but I'm far from being mature or reliable or wise. I'm still this really silly child who knows absolutely nothing about the world or life or anything. Surely I've been an introvert all my life and I've taught myself and read about a, hmm satisfactory[?] amount of things, but on a universal scale, I know less than nothing. I don't want to do anything, I have no great plans or great ideas, I'm not worth of them yet, I'm just working on figuring out the little things in life.

I think I've lost my innocence somewhere in forth or fifth grade, but that's something different.

I agree.
I've lost my innocence a long time ago, but I didn't really grow up until about six months ago this year. Although I thought I did, a lot of times before that.

I figure, I haven't "grown up" until I can sustain on my own in the world. I understand a lot of you had to do this long before some of us have.


I'm pretty sure this trip to Morocco will change that though, especially since we're staying with basically strangers and we're supposed to be speaking French while there.

i'm terrified of becoming mature, but the fact is that because of what's happened to me with losing my dad and what i've had to cope with as a result of it, i'm better equipped to handle situations than most peers, which causes filthy arguments because they simply don't understand.