"kristen, why do you love pete wentz?"

i just posted a journal about him earlier, and a good friend of mine asked me why i loved him so much.
not in accusatory way, in a very curious way. she's not good with feelings.

so i decided, i love him for lots of reasons.
so i'm gonna describe this to the best of my abilities,
even though i know when i read it over, it's not going to make sense.

so, pete wentz, eh.

i love him because he's him, and he might not be perfect to you, but i'm sure you all know what it's like to look at someone and just know, know that they're it for you, and you're never going to love anyone as much as you can love that one person. you look at them, and you're home. you just know, and you can't explain it. and i know most of you know what that feeling is like. and that's how i feel about him. i feel... like he's it for me. i'm gonna get something this intense more than once in a life time, and i'm pretty okay with that, because i know he's it for me.

but what, might you be asking, makes me feel like this? what made me want to love him in the first place. well, it's simple. i love his lyrics, more than most people i know. i love his silly little typos that we're supposed to think are professional, even though they aren't because we all have flaws. i love his tiny little body. i love his old words that no one says anymore, but they're so him that no one else could ever pull it off. i love his taste in everything, minus women. but we're not going to get into that. i love it when he dj's, and even though he looks like a total buffoon, i still love him, and i still think he is the most beautiful person my eyes have ever rested eyes on. i love his side projects, the things he does for his fans, and how he doesn't need the constant reassurance that he's the best because he knows he isn't and he's okay with that. i love looking at him, because i can promise that i will always find something that makes my heart swell that i haven't noticed before. i love his silly little smirk, for when he's happy, but not the generic kind. i love his big smile, when he's so happy he can't contain it. i love his love for things that kids are supposed to love, because it means maybe i'm not so alone. i love how he makes me feel safe. i love his tattoos, i love his face. i love hearing him talk. i love it when he says certain words because he has this accent and it just makes me melt on so many levels. i love his poetry, and how it's not supposed to make sense, even though it kind of does to me. i love his love for his dog. i love his compassion. i love how he always has the idea a bit late but no one would dare try it before he did. i love his eyes, and how they say what he doesn't want to. i love how he's the type of person you could trust, only because i'm sure he knows what it's like to have your trust betrayed. i love how he gets it, even if he thinks he doesn't, but he does. he understands, even if he doesn't know that someone knows that. i love how he's like the boy next door, only a little bit off. i love how everything sounds better when he says it. i love how he still hasn't given up, because i know i would have. i love how he tries so hard, and he worries about what people think even if he wants to pretend he doesn't. i love everything about him, down to his absolute core.

and to be frank, i'm not sure if even i understand myself.