Christmas Eve

(Repost from my blog.)

It's Christmas Eve today, as you all probably already know. Thing is, it really doesn't feel like it. Today's been pretty much lazy and ordinary and...blah. Yeah, we have the tree out with presents under it, and the turkey's in the oven right now, but none of us are actually feeling it, you know?

I'm wondering if this means that I'm growing up or that this year is just exceptional or something. But, I mean, it's the Christmas spirit, it's not something you outgrow, is it? Christmas is special and beautiful and amazing and everyone's supposed to be happy because it's Christmas, for crying out loud. What's wrong this year?

Even the presents, I feel pretty eh about them. I've got all I want right now -- I'm content. (Yes, I know, a content teenager is a rarity nowadays.) Well, okay, fine, I do want a CD player, since mine has been wonky for years and finally died a while back, but I want it because two of my Christmas presents this year are CDs. And what good are CDs without players..? Honestly, all I really want this Christmas is just for everyone to be happy and loving and at peace. No bad feelings, no fights. Just all things Christmas.

I'm just kind of confused right now. Where's everyone's Christmas spirit? Why is there nothing in the air? Where's that I-love-you-world feeling I always get at Christmas, and why don't I want to lie under the tree and watch the lights like I always do? All our Christmas staples are here -- the turkey, the tree, the presents, the eve dinner with Grandad and Uncle Yik -- but it's like everything else is wrong. And I just don't know why that is.

I guess in my and all other Form Threes' cases, I kind of know the answer. PMR results are out on the 30th of this month, if you haven't already been informed, and I...haven't been sleeping very well. Like right now, I just want to collapse in bed and sleep until my eyes stop hurting.

No more of that. It's Christmas.

Mmm. I smell the turkey now. We're having sparkling rosé with it tonight. My sister and I seem to have developed a taste for wine, even red. The last bottle we had was this red wine that everyone apart from me claimed to be too dry to drink on its own, so I, uh, finished it. With permission, mind you. My mouth was all sandy-feeling after it, but it was good.

Anyway. So, uh, assuming I haven't killed whatever Christmas spirit you might've had with this rather bleh post, Merry almost Christmas to everyone. Or, if you'd prefer, Merry Christmas Eve.

Or, if you believe in it, happy almost birthday, Jesus. (: