In newsreader voice:

by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** Thu 08 Jan 2009, 3:45 am

I like to think I'm funny.

Please don't crush my dreams.

Inspired by a thread on /b/. Stole like two things; the rest are mine, seeing as hey, its /b/, and most of the suggestions were PLAY SCAT PORN REALLY LOUD.

How to fuck with your room mates

• Say truthful things in a sarcastic voice (ex; It has an amaaazing bathroom)
• Create a giant collage of various magazine/newspaper articles, and arrange it over one wall/in a corner as if you’re researching a crime.
• Have porn playing really loudly in one room. Tell anyone who looks curious ‘They always do that’, as if you’ve gotten used to it.
• Have the TV unplugged with a picture taped over the screen
• Put a toaster near the bathtub. Smile longingly whenever you pass the room
• Have your screensaver/desktop on randomize. Put scary pictures amongst family photos. Act as if you don’t understand why people are disturbed
• Introduce yourself with as many names from other races as possible. For example, a white man being named Osama Ching, who then abbreviates it to MC OC “in da house”. Rap badly about how it’s what you like to be called. Tell them not to be so racist if they act confused.
• Build a person out of junk (old toys, clothes etc) and other random household objects. Props if you take something off their body during the inspection/showing. Even moreso if you put it back after using it and apologise to your junkman.
• Set as many pictures up of one person as you can. Create a shrine of sorts. Have more scattered around your house and one beside your bed. If asked, say “She was sarah.”
• Write something along the lines of “WHY ARE YOU SO UGLY?” on mirror/s
• Cut out people’s faces from magazines. Cut out their eyes. Stick them everywhere.
• Call everyone, even strangers, by embarrassing pet names and act as if you didn’t notice you did it.
• Refer to everything as yours. “And this is my living room…”
• Store all your kitchenware in the pantry and all your food in the drawers. Casually prepare a snack while they’re looking around the place.

TBC.

I am sleepy. I went to sleep at two and inexplicably woke up at four thirty.
imo it was worth it because Marlee came online

did I mention that I'm in love?

because, yeah. I'm in love.

today I'm going op-shopping for a nazi costume to wear to Waicon.

You guys get to see me in SHORTS. SCARY, RIGHT? AND WITH BLONDE HAIR. BLONDE. SRSLY.

Yeah, its pretty nuts.

Oh and for the record, Ryan-inspired content will accompany only useless entries where I ramble about nothing.
This is funny, which counts as something, so nyeah.