This is a Story - G

Title: This is a Story
Rating: G
Author: elided-helper
Genre: I guess...it's comedy? Or completely off-beat.
Status: Complete
Summary/Exerpt: This a very silly story that I made up when I was bored.
Warnings: BE WARNED: This story should be placed in a rubbish bin.


Sarah was a girl. She had more than a million hairs on her head, this was quite an achievement. Her hair was in fact blonde, and it got in the way while she was doing her wood carving. Sometimes she’d carve her hair instead, which made her angry and punch somebody. Sometimes herself. Sarah got sent home from school for violent behaviour during wood carving lessons on a regular basis. Sarah also had blue eyes. Somebody once told her that they looked like sapphires but they were immediately put into a mental institute. Sarah was sick of her blue eyes and blonde hair so she dyed her hair black and got some purple contacts.

But this story isn’t about Sarah, it’s about her duck’s friend’s sister’s owner’s son. Called Brian. Brian was 14 and rather brilliant at soccer. He was the best player of the season for 3 consecutive years. Actually this was not true, but Brian liked to use it as a pick up line. Brian was really awful at soccer and didn’t like it anyway. He preferred cake decorating. He was the only boy in his entire school that took cake decorating as a class. Actually he was the only person in the school that took it. No one was actually sure if this course existed. It seemed like cake decorating existed, as Brian always came out of his “class” with a beautifully decorated cake, but it was suspected that he just made them at home and brought them to school to look cool. This was a very stupid thing to do, and even Brian thought this, but he was so addicted to decorating cakes that he just continued doing it.

Brian’s best friend’s name was The Egg. The Egg was a small boy with brown hair who loved to play on the swings at lunchtime. The Egg was happy all the time and got on with everyone, but he chose to hang out with Brian because he felt sorry for him.

The Egg got his nickname when he was in Year 1. He was new to the class and the teacher was introducing him to the class.
“Tell everyone your name. Go on, they won’t bite.” Said the annoying teacher of little mind power.
“Hello everybody! My name is…”
At this point, The Egg got distracted by two adolescent boys egging the principles car.
“THE EGG!” said The Egg.
The class was thrilled at this new development, as they had never heard such an interesting name. No one knew The Egg’s real name.


Anyway, Brian and The Egg had a wonderful time every lunch, swinging on the swings, sliding on the slides and hanging upside down on the balcony wall (it was never discovered how they did this). Brian was never bullied because he had such a cool friend. He lived for 10 years more before being hit by a bus while standing on his head in the middle of a freeway. THE END.