This house is not a home

Home's a terrible place to be right now. My mother still has not forgiven me -- oh, woe -- and continues to refer to me as 'the shmuck'. Every now and then, she forgets to be nasty to me and treats me like before, but then she'll remember again and...ugh. It's just this stupid rollercoaster ride

Oh, wow, my dad just pummelled the wall with his fist and gave me a heart attack. Thankyou, father.

Anyway, it's just this awful mindfuck and I never know what to expect. And now my dad is swearing and I both want to kill something and cry. They're fighting again. It's half past midnight.

Fuck this. Fuck this fuck this FUCK this. I don't know how long this is going to go on for, but I cannot take it much longer. The second I'm stupid enough to believe things are okay, something happens and my optimism gets a stake shoved through it. We're not a fucking family anymore, and I don't know why I keep fucking forgetting that.

I hate I HATE this. THIS is what made me start cutting. THIS is what-- Ugh, wtv.

I honestly cannot take this for much longer. I don't know what to do if it doesn't stop.

Ty. a>

I will. Thankyou, Mikey.