Great Expectations

"I am what I am, and that's all that I am" -- Popeye the Sailor Man

What I am, unfortunately, is a bit of a control freak.

Our Add Maths teacher has assigned us our folio. While we have to pass our folios up individually, getting the content is a group effort, I suppose to lighten our burdens. Hypothetically, anyway, since the work's supposed to be divided. However, I'm the only one in my group who seems to be ready to get anything done.

It's been a whole week, and the only thing that's been done is part (a) of the Further Exploration part -- by yours truly. Everyone else's excuse is that the work hasn't been divided so they don't know what to do. No one's lifting a finger even to dish out duties, so I suppose it'll be up to me as well; so will proof-reading and fact-checking.

We had a PJK folio a little earlier, also group work. The front cover might as well have read 'Done by: [my name] | Content provided by: Friend X and Friend Y'.

It's been like this for as long as I can remember, even when the 'group' only consisted of me and my sister. I run around picking up everyone else's slack because the results affect not only them, but me as well.

Might I remind you, this Add Maths project affects our trials and SPM grades. You have no idea how much I wish this were a solo project. Then I know I'd do everything right and not have to hound other people to do what they're supposed to.

So while I'm busy being upset over all this, my father hurls one of those 'I expected better of you' comments at me over something else. Those hurt the most, because it seems that people are always expecting better of me and I will never be good enough for anyone at all no matter how hard I try.

Sometimes I wish I were so stupid that no one expected anything of me at all.