Beautifully Dressed In Drag

Okay, so.
For this one, I have a tiny idea for a melody.
It has to have this eerie sound to it, kind of like in Placebo's "Pure Morning"(seeing that video for the first time ever last night actually inspired this. Also, "Nancy Boy" and "I Know".)
At first, I only had one line and it was the 'echo' part, and those are important to the song.
See, I have the basic idea for how it'd turn out but... I can't do anything by myself.

-sigh-

Anyway:


(echo: "Police line, do not cross.")

He's so beautifully
(dressed in drag)
With the lipstick
So carefully applied
And the black chalk
Painted 'round his eyes
Such a pretty, petty canvas

(echo: "Police line, do not cross.")

Now he's crawling,
Just like the worms
On his soon-to-be...
Rotten corpse.
(shedding skin in spotlight)

(echo: "Police line, do not cross")

Shooting up
Black nail polish
Getting up
Light-headed
Delusional images...
(flash, flash)
Closing time.

(echo: "Police line, do not cross.")

Consuming...
Going lower,
Sinking.
Still here
(barely there)

Going, going...
Gone.

(echo: "Police line, do not cross.")



(Now, start a revolution and tell me I suck, so that I can get better. 'Cause, frankly, I'm aware that it's neither "perfect" nor "amazing". )

I can almost hear the beat in my head. <3
Probably because of the echo part; whenever I hear 'echo', I think of Hold the Door.

You're good. (((: