Stress, ce n'est pas bon.

I feel...freaked out. Scared, actually.

Exam on monday. Math. Guess who didn't study?

Apps due soon. Guess who didn't even start her essays? Oui!!!! C'est correcte!!! C'est moi!!! Je n'ai pas fait riennnn!!! Ma grammaire, ce n'est pas correcte! Je suis sotte! OUI.

I've lost it.

I submitted one application. It didn't need an essay. Must send scores. Must send transcripts and recco letters. Must study. Must free self from stress.

I am lossssing it, I swear.

It rained yesterday and the prettiness was


I don't want to be a rain-goddess
but I'd love to be the earth,
soaking up the torrents and waiting
in pain every summer as I dry,
only to be rescued again by
monsoons and winters, sending
blessings forth from the heavens--
quenching me, waking me, nourishing me.

But could I bear that pain?
For mother earth goes through
labor every spring and the summer
cracks right through her skin.

Being a person is rather nice,
feeling the rain tickling my skin
watching from the balcony as the
world sets itself right under the clouds.
Its kind of like playing hide and seek
with the wind while I wonder if its
prudent to stay out in nature's force.

No, I don't want to be a rain-goddess.
I think I'm happy just witnessing her grace.