Trivial things >_>

by Heartswell. Mon 24 Nov 2008, 4:23 pm

I'm at Uni right now and I have two midterms tomorrow so I should be studying for them but I don't think I want to.
I just realized that I owed 900 KD which is a whole lot of fucking money. (checked my account at the uni's people soft system)
and yeah.
right now i want to alienate everyone online because i feel like my head's going to stab itself. i want everyone to hate me and leave me alone because i feel so fucked and apathetic and bored that i want to die. i'm going nowhere so why bother?
at this stage of my life i better go strangle myself for some fun. it's not fun worrying about other people like mad and beating yourself all night then discovering that that person doesn't remember anyfucking thing about calling you. it just makes it more pointless. so fucking pointless. i'm young and i'll never get to leave where i am.
even my major? ha. good luck finding a job.
i got into this because i love writing. but now i feel like a lost puppy who never left the box down the road but got kicked in the rain after everyone trampled his home.
do i want to die? no. i just want to leave this world and enter nothingness. i have nothing but fantasies and thoughts of another world.

s.p.: read manga.
it's good for the soul. I recc Ouran High School Host Club. It got me hooked; the only thing that's keeping me going. Need to download the anime and ignore my studies. wheeeeeeeeee.

by proust. Mon 24 Nov 2008, 7:36 pm

Heartswell. wrote:do i want to die? no. i just want to leave this world and enter nothingness. i have nothing but fantasies and thoughts of another world.

You should read, eh, Michel Ende's Neverending story. It's a children's novel but it's about how you can enter a story and become part of it or how a story can become a part of you. Or maybe don Quixote. well there are a few books on how you can live in books. I know no other way of living in an other world. Maybe dreams, but dreams are different, they're malicious in a way. Books seem finite, while dreams are infinite. I'll stop reccing books as the ultimate remedy against all illnesses of the soul.

Just, find your peace. don't let midterms get the better of you, start sleeping once in a while, and just pretend to have the daily routine of an lonely old woman. sleep late, wake up early, eat well, go outside and get your daily portion of sunlight. it does help get your body and mind back in order.

hmmmm

I certainly am not here to preach, but just, as a friendly advise, maybe? Iloveyou.

p.s. you're not allowed to die anyway. I'm not letting you.

Trivial things >_>

Trivial things >_>

Re: Trivial things >_>