100 days of secrets..
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I am Revolution :: Words :: Journals
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100 days of secrets..
by frayed ends Sat 04 Apr 2009, 7:56 am
i can't believe i did this O__O
okay, so i still have two days left, but here's all the secrets :/
and it would seem i forgot to do a day eighteen
day one: you're always on my mind and i'm not complaining.
day two: i think everyone hates me. it takes a person awhile to convince me otherwise.
day three: i want to be a really good friend to her. she needs one after all he's done to her.
day four: i hate my body.
day five: i don't know why i try anymore.
day six: i'm tired of hiding my body with baggy clothes.
day seven: i'm afraid i have an eating disorder. i think that if i tell anyone they'll say "uhh, you're a fatass.shut the fuck up."
day eight: i don't love panic at the disco as much as i used to ;__; i miss them.
day nine: i'm nervous about seeing you tomorrow
day ten: i hate living like this.
day eleven: i can just imagine running my fingers through his hair and kissing him. i'm so pathetic.
day twelve: i can never tell if a guy is flirting with me.or checking me out >___<
day thirteen: i day dream about the future way too much.
it's never going to happen, but i still waste my time.
day fourteen: i'm afraid that it's a sign that we couldn't hang out today >____<
day fifteen: i think i just messed up everything >___<
day sixteen: i can't tell you. i'm too fucking scared.
day seventeen: i lie to myself and say that maybe he does like me.
day nineteen: they called me anorexic yesterday. i didn't think they'd notice i don't eat at lunch.
day twenty: i'm going to tell him today.
day twenty one: it kind of hurts like a bitch. but i'm ignoring it.
day twenty two: this weekend better work out -____-
i need to relax and forget about everything.
day twenty three: i get easily scared when watching horror movies.
i'm such a baby. it's not gore or anything, it's the damn music that adds to the suspense >___<
day twenty four: ugh, i have never puked so much in my life.
day twenty five: starting tomorrow, i'm doing it all over again. i can do it this time.
day twenty six: i made a thinspo book last night..
day twenty seven: i hate the person i am most of the time.
day twenty eight: I think I like him. Fuck >___<
day twenty nine: i wish i could smoke more without puking. it really sucks. but i'm glad i went for a smoke today (: got to meet him.
day thirty: i feel terrible about leaving you last night
day thirty one: i guess i like you, but i'm not sure about a relationship.
day thirty two: i had a pretty good day today ^___^
i thought it was going to be shitty like every other day, but i guess i was wrong.
day thirty three: this is actually starting to hurt me.
it's all your fault , but you don't even know.
day thirty four: oh my god, when he walked into our class i almost took a heart attack
day thirty five: i can't get you off my mind
day thirty six: i don't know if i like my hair, or if i hate it.
day thirty seven: thanks for telling me that my hair would look terrible if i cut it. you're a fucking jerk.
day thirty eight:i just took apart and put back together my copy of folie a deux because of mr.wentz's blog.
day thirty nine: i avoided you all day, 'cause i don't want you telling me you like me. i'm not afraid to turn you down, i just don't want to deal with it.
day forty: i have some of the craziest neighbors O___O
day forty one: i love how people think i'm in grade ten or eleven when i'm in grade nine
day 42: i am so glad you said you don't have anything to tell me anymore ^____^ means my planned worked![[/smug]](/users/3315/34/70/27/smiles/73511.gif)
day 43: i'm getting addicted to smoking, and i don't mind
day 44: i don't know what i want out of life. the person i am doesn't seem like the person i want to be.
day 45: i can't believe he likes me. it's weird. i'm just a gross fat kid. what does he see in me?
day 46: i'm having ice cream for breakfast. what the fuck?
day 47: i'm really nervous about today.
day 48: i came to the realization, that i always run away from my problems.
day 49: he's really starting to creep me out.
day 50: even though i've stopped, i still think about it.
day 51: i have a hard time opening up to people.
day 52: it really bothers me that what i see isn't what i should be seeing. i thought my eyesight was perfect, but it's pretty shitty.
day 53: i am so tired of sleeping in and getting to school late -____-
day 54: when people tell me i'm pretty, i think they're making fun of me.
day 55: i would never leave the house without at least mascara on.
day 56: i fucking hate the dentist.
day 57: i find it weird and nice that she trusts me so much.
i find it even weirder how i don't hate her anymore and i'm going to keep her secrets.
day 58: i'm afraid of going out with people , because i know eventually they'll break my heart.
"let's imagine the end before we even begin." she said.
day 59: i want to feel part of something.
to have a big group of friends.
day 60: i don't know how i'm supposed to feel.
day 61: i can't stop
day 62: my mom almost found my thinspo book. now i'm scared shitless she'll find all my journals.
day 63: i feel like i have no friends(except paula) "irl", but then i feel guilty because i do have a few.
day 64: i'm surprised i lasted this long
day 65: i don't think i need to rely on people anymore. i'm happy with just myself.
day 66: sometimes i take a pen and circle around my cuts. i don't know why though..
day 67: it hurts so bad to know that my mother once said "why can't you just be normal? why do you have to be a freak?" even though she apologized, it still cuts deep.
day 68: i wear my coat at school, even during class and lunch. i hate people seeing my fat body
day 69: i always feel so hated by you.
day 70: it's been 11 days since, and i'm sort of proud.
day 71: my computer has a password on it, so my parents can control when i go on it. they have no idea i know the password and have for over a year now...
day 72: the week coming up will be hell for me
even my birthday.
day 73: i can't wait till i'm to 100 secrets. because i know nobody cares about my secrets.
day 74: i hate that all my cute guy friends are taken >__>
day 75: i care what people think. i wish i didn't, but i do -__-
day 76: i hate that he's messing with my brain. tonight just made it worse.
day 77: i had the best birthday with my boys
day 78: i think i'll give up. "just friends" sounds great.
day 79: i was starting to maybe trust you.
but you fucked that up last night, didn't you?
day 80: my family doesn't have a lot of money, so i feel bad when i ask for things :/
day 81: i don't understand why he wants to help me, why he wants to make me love life. but i'm glad he does
day 82: i'm not sure how this is going to work out to be honest.
day 83: i wish i could love myself. or even like myself.
day 84: i don't think he can do it. but i think that maybe the other one can.
day 85: i have a bad feeling about today.
day 86: being happy isn't as hard as i thought.
day 87: what the fuck are you talking about
you're the last person i expected this from.
day 88: i can't believe he might be moving, and won't tell me
day 89: i hate when teachers drive by, and i'm having a smoke. i feel like they lose respect for me :/
day 90: my body went so weak when he kissed my neck >___< why does he have to do these sorts of things? he's just my frien
day 91: whenever i post in the ctrl+v thread, i feel like i'm cheating when i just right click and paste.
day 92: i felt like we were annoying, but once we got there, best night in awhile.
day 93: i can't believe i hooked up with a 19 year old O___O
day 94: i still think about him holding me. probably not who you think...
day 95: i can't get it off my mind :/
day 96: so it would seem that i can't depend on anyone anymore (':
day 97: ever since i turned 15, my life has been drama filled >__<
day 98: i'm so scared that i fucked up everything :/
haha, i love how halfway, i gave up on typing the numbers out
anyone else close to finishing the 100 days?
okay, so i still have two days left, but here's all the secrets :/
and it would seem i forgot to do a day eighteen
day one: you're always on my mind and i'm not complaining.
day two: i think everyone hates me. it takes a person awhile to convince me otherwise.
day three: i want to be a really good friend to her. she needs one after all he's done to her.
day four: i hate my body.
day five: i don't know why i try anymore.
day six: i'm tired of hiding my body with baggy clothes.
day seven: i'm afraid i have an eating disorder. i think that if i tell anyone they'll say "uhh, you're a fatass.shut the fuck up."
day eight: i don't love panic at the disco as much as i used to ;__; i miss them.
day nine: i'm nervous about seeing you tomorrow
day ten: i hate living like this.
day eleven: i can just imagine running my fingers through his hair and kissing him. i'm so pathetic.
day twelve: i can never tell if a guy is flirting with me.or checking me out >___<
day thirteen: i day dream about the future way too much.
it's never going to happen, but i still waste my time.
day fourteen: i'm afraid that it's a sign that we couldn't hang out today >____<
day fifteen: i think i just messed up everything >___<
day sixteen: i can't tell you. i'm too fucking scared.
day seventeen: i lie to myself and say that maybe he does like me.
day nineteen: they called me anorexic yesterday. i didn't think they'd notice i don't eat at lunch.
day twenty: i'm going to tell him today.
day twenty one: it kind of hurts like a bitch. but i'm ignoring it.
day twenty two: this weekend better work out -____-
i need to relax and forget about everything.
day twenty three: i get easily scared when watching horror movies.
i'm such a baby. it's not gore or anything, it's the damn music that adds to the suspense >___<
day twenty four: ugh, i have never puked so much in my life.
day twenty five: starting tomorrow, i'm doing it all over again. i can do it this time.
day twenty six: i made a thinspo book last night..
day twenty seven: i hate the person i am most of the time.
day twenty eight: I think I like him. Fuck >___<
day twenty nine: i wish i could smoke more without puking. it really sucks. but i'm glad i went for a smoke today (: got to meet him.
day thirty: i feel terrible about leaving you last night
day thirty one: i guess i like you, but i'm not sure about a relationship.
day thirty two: i had a pretty good day today ^___^
i thought it was going to be shitty like every other day, but i guess i was wrong.
day thirty three: this is actually starting to hurt me.
it's all your fault , but you don't even know.
day thirty four: oh my god, when he walked into our class i almost took a heart attack
day thirty five: i can't get you off my mind
day thirty six: i don't know if i like my hair, or if i hate it.
day thirty seven: thanks for telling me that my hair would look terrible if i cut it. you're a fucking jerk.
day thirty eight:i just took apart and put back together my copy of folie a deux because of mr.wentz's blog.
day thirty nine: i avoided you all day, 'cause i don't want you telling me you like me. i'm not afraid to turn you down, i just don't want to deal with it.
day forty: i have some of the craziest neighbors O___O
day forty one: i love how people think i'm in grade ten or eleven when i'm in grade nine
day 42: i am so glad you said you don't have anything to tell me anymore ^____^ means my planned worked
day 43: i'm getting addicted to smoking, and i don't mind
day 44: i don't know what i want out of life. the person i am doesn't seem like the person i want to be.
day 45: i can't believe he likes me. it's weird. i'm just a gross fat kid. what does he see in me?
day 46: i'm having ice cream for breakfast. what the fuck?
day 47: i'm really nervous about today.
day 48: i came to the realization, that i always run away from my problems.
day 49: he's really starting to creep me out.
day 50: even though i've stopped, i still think about it.
day 51: i have a hard time opening up to people.
day 52: it really bothers me that what i see isn't what i should be seeing. i thought my eyesight was perfect, but it's pretty shitty.
day 53: i am so tired of sleeping in and getting to school late -____-
day 54: when people tell me i'm pretty, i think they're making fun of me.
day 55: i would never leave the house without at least mascara on.
day 56: i fucking hate the dentist.
day 57: i find it weird and nice that she trusts me so much.
i find it even weirder how i don't hate her anymore and i'm going to keep her secrets.
day 58: i'm afraid of going out with people , because i know eventually they'll break my heart.
"let's imagine the end before we even begin." she said.
day 59: i want to feel part of something.
to have a big group of friends.
day 60: i don't know how i'm supposed to feel.
day 61: i can't stop
day 62: my mom almost found my thinspo book. now i'm scared shitless she'll find all my journals.
day 63: i feel like i have no friends(except paula) "irl", but then i feel guilty because i do have a few.
day 64: i'm surprised i lasted this long
day 65: i don't think i need to rely on people anymore. i'm happy with just myself.
day 66: sometimes i take a pen and circle around my cuts. i don't know why though..
day 67: it hurts so bad to know that my mother once said "why can't you just be normal? why do you have to be a freak?" even though she apologized, it still cuts deep.
day 68: i wear my coat at school, even during class and lunch. i hate people seeing my fat body
day 69: i always feel so hated by you.
day 70: it's been 11 days since, and i'm sort of proud.
day 71: my computer has a password on it, so my parents can control when i go on it. they have no idea i know the password and have for over a year now...
day 72: the week coming up will be hell for me
even my birthday.day 73: i can't wait till i'm to 100 secrets. because i know nobody cares about my secrets.
day 74: i hate that all my cute guy friends are taken >__>
day 75: i care what people think. i wish i didn't, but i do -__-
day 76: i hate that he's messing with my brain. tonight just made it worse.
day 77: i had the best birthday with my boys
day 78: i think i'll give up. "just friends" sounds great.
day 79: i was starting to maybe trust you.
but you fucked that up last night, didn't you?
day 80: my family doesn't have a lot of money, so i feel bad when i ask for things :/
day 81: i don't understand why he wants to help me, why he wants to make me love life. but i'm glad he does
day 82: i'm not sure how this is going to work out to be honest.
day 83: i wish i could love myself. or even like myself.
day 84: i don't think he can do it. but i think that maybe the other one can.
day 85: i have a bad feeling about today.
day 86: being happy isn't as hard as i thought.
day 87: what the fuck are you talking about
you're the last person i expected this from.day 88: i can't believe he might be moving, and won't tell me
day 89: i hate when teachers drive by, and i'm having a smoke. i feel like they lose respect for me :/
day 90: my body went so weak when he kissed my neck >___< why does he have to do these sorts of things? he's just my frien
day 91: whenever i post in the ctrl+v thread, i feel like i'm cheating when i just right click and paste.
day 92: i felt like we were annoying, but once we got there, best night in awhile.
day 93: i can't believe i hooked up with a 19 year old O___O
day 94: i still think about him holding me. probably not who you think...
day 95: i can't get it off my mind :/
day 96: so it would seem that i can't depend on anyone anymore (':
day 97: ever since i turned 15, my life has been drama filled >__<
day 98: i'm so scared that i fucked up everything :/
haha, i love how halfway, i gave up on typing the numbers out
anyone else close to finishing the 100 days?
frayed ends- Leading by Example
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Number of posts : 1881
Age : 30
Location : midtown -
Galileo Figaro- Leading by Example
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Number of posts : 1038
Location : At the window. -
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