Rambling and roaches

by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** Sun 29 Mar 2009, 9:29 pm

I hate roaches. Ugh. I don't care how 'clean' they are - they're fucking gross. Okay?

Notice that wherever there's trash, there's roaches. They live in sewers. Other insects, other than flies and ants which I also hate, do not. They live in the ground or in trees or bushes and eat nice natural things are are clean. Roaches are dirty and disgusting.

Seriously, look at this thing. THAT'S A CRACKER IT'S EATING. IT'S HUGE. Look at its evil hairy legs. Even its LEGS look sinister. Obviously it is a creature of the devil.

I'm not afraid of them, they just disgust me. Make me retch. etc. ...I accidentally just typed wtf instead of etc. Shut up I am tired.

So anyway I have this maybe mildly irrational fear of a roach getting under my covers whilst I sleep. Because, hey, normally I can kill them, but when I'm sleeping I'm defenseless.

So it had to be today of ALL days that I felt something on my leg under my covers, right? Right.

Obviously I ripped the doona violently away from my leg - and in the process felt something ON MY HAND

To which I shrieked some sort of garbled battle cry (all I can remember was the word 'fuck') and wrenched the doona off my bed, kicking and flailing violently in all directions.

Anyway, by the time I got to the light it was gone, but I KNOW it was there.

Anyway I'm awake now because I was afraid to sleep again because I'm sick and have to breathe through my mouth and what if I accidentally swallowed one?

Yeah, ew.

Anyway, it's only 11:30 PM and I was sleeping because I was taking a nap (which I do frequently when well, so of course I do it when sick)

Which brings me to my next point; I am sick. I think I have the flu. It sucks dick. Figuratively of course; there's nothing wrong with sucking dick literally.

So anyway, typical that it had to happen just when I get the motivation together to get into shape >_> now I'm too tired and sluggish to move (apart, of course, from in moments of roach-induced panic) and definitely in no shape to be doing any form of exercise.

I am feeling like a musical failure thanks to children like this:

Yes, that is the piece I am learning and yes that is how fast it's supposed to be played. It's a grade six piece.

So the other day I blew things up.

No, really.

You will need:

-Something flammable, preferably deodorant or hairspray; something with alcohol AND a propellant in it.
-A stick or otherlong pokey thing
-Paper
-Matches or a lighter
-Condoms, balloons, a plastic bag - something inflatable.

Condoms work best for this (I got a bunch of them free because they were expired and everyone knew sex was the last thing I'd use them for) but balloons can be used as well.

So pm, fill them with something flammable - deodorant works best - and let them expand to maybe the size of a normal balloon, a bit smaller. Don't worry if there's not much liquid - even if the can is squirting out air, it'll be choc full of lovely, explosive propellant. Tie them, then using the ends (this is why condoms are good; not only do they stretch better but they have long ends goodf for tying) together to make a chain. Here is a diagram:

Rambling and roaches R0nwpc

So you tie end A of one condom (Cond bomb?) to end B of the next. Use a lot - the more, the merrier!

Then, find something long. Sticks work well but make sure they're a couple feet long; this is going to be a large bang. Also, have water handy, just in case. One of ours flew away and set fire to a pile of leaves. Thankfully I am an experienced pyro and had a bucket of water next to me.

Now, twist some paper around the end of the stick. Firmly. Light it, and then feel free to reach over, ignite your condbombs, and watch the fireballs :D

...lol. Balls. (It's funnier because I was using condoms)

That is about all for now. I know, I know, I need to upload that video. I soz. Maybe I'll sendspace it for you guys. I'm afraid of youtube abuse.

Yeah, I'm a pansy, I know.

That's about it. Peace out.

by pikawho? Mon 30 Mar 2009, 8:00 am

epic win.
about everything.
i would write an actual response, but i'm all tired and shit.

i really just want to make a condbomb now. lmfao.

p.s. children like that have no friends. lol@chu