It's getting harrrder every night, to take the punnnches left and right

I don't like this. Teenage years are supposed to be some of the best of our lives, but it's all school and tuition and HOMEWORK and exams and studying and assignments and colleges and universities and entrance exams and tuition fees and CHOICES and subjects and extra-curricular activities and scholarships I can't get and unfairness and results and 'this-will-affect-you-later-on-in-life' speeches.

I hate this. This is the age where we realise that childhood was the best thing ever and try to hold on to it for as long as we can, but people are telling us to buck up and and be mature. We're supposed to be forward-thinking, looking towards the future, when all we're really worried about right now is that Sejarah test this Friday. And that upcoming Mod Maths test. And that Chem assignment that nobody understands. Oh, and homework; it's always homework.

I am so many things. I am a girl, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, a prefect, a senior, a junior, a black belt, a vice-president, a secretary, a(n amateur) guitarist, a Christian (that shouldn't be so low down on my list, dang it), a fan, a blogger, a writer, a member of the Ed Board, a counselor, an assistant Rec. & Stat. officer, a best friend, an enemy(?), a pet sister, a Mibbian, a Rev. I am also very tired. All these things combined take so much out of me, because I am just so many things. Sometimes I wish I could just stop being. I wouldn't want to ever be someone else, because I believe that everyone has their own set of problems, no matter how well they hide them. They're always there, in everyone.

Hui Fen told me I'm supposed to be covering Minggu Kerjaya for the school magazine. Just how am I going to do that after it triggered this little outburst? The talk from the people, representatives of their colleges, in the Dewan Bakti just really freaked me out. I don't want to know about the 96% and above, or how famous your university is, or how hard the entrance exams are, or how few people you accept each year, or how effing expensive it is, or anything. I don't want to know!

...but I have to.

Ugh, I don't even know anymore. All this had better pay off in the future, because it is just insane. Actually, I'm scared of the future. I don't know what's going to happen then, and it's perfectly understandable to be afraid of the unknown.

I remember, when I was in primary school, looking at all the kor kors and che ches lepak-ing in the shopping malls, and thinking, If I study hard now, I can go to 1 Utama with my friends without Mummy and be cool like they are. I won't have to work hard then.

Oh, how painfully naive of me.

Apparently, things get even worse in the future:
"Well, Jan, as I told you before, it only gets worse."

My mother makes an early death look so appealing.

P.S.: The title of this post is from David Cook's Life on the Moon, which will be lulling me to sleep tonight. I think you should listen to it, it's a killer song. Over and out.