Poem Number Three

3.

i am not weak
i am a girl
exquisitely composed of
flesh and bones
a being, human in my
flaws
i cannot be
what your eyes need
to see
i am ugly and deformed
don't matter if it's
the inside or the out
you are,
not that beautiful
as well
i changed for you
but you never see
you only see what
kept me
depended on thee
you gave me life,
i love you and your
gift, your shared life,
but, you cannot see
you cannot see
you cannot see how
i
i twinkle in eyes,
in lights
other than yours
i am tired of
being scorched,
burned, teased
by your lights
i am not white,
not water-pure
as you
you
want me to be
i am damaged
you love my cracks,
you adore my imperfect, rotten broken mind
swept my mistakes are
by your love, your love
your tenderness
but you cannot see
you cannot embrace
what i am
you love what i was
you still embrace those foolish errs of
a girl
your little girl
needing your warm hands
never your faith,
you
sprinkle your trust,
even a little dash,
all over me
i am not weak,
oh, mother,
i am not so weak
by your love,
i blossomed
but, mother
but mother, every flower
every baby flower
needs to wilt
on its own
i do love you, mother
oh, i do
let me play my own
my own melody
fingers may bleed
strings might snap
skin and strings
can heal
you cannot see
i create reverie dreams,
my dreams,
dreams, my stupid foolish dreams, fluttering
i know
i know
you're just
gonna sweep them away
and call me a stupid girl
but i am not so weak
i have my bones
i have my skin
to keep the stones,
from the fire
away
i'll break, i'll bruise, i'll burn
but let me breakbruiseburn on my own
push me from under your wing-joints
i am, i'm so deeply embedded
in your insides
where i can barely breathe
i changed, i am not
a part of you
i'm a star in you,
the sky
you're the sky
where i'll always be living, but, please
please
leave me separate from your guts
i am not weak
i am not confident either,
but i heal
stupid
young
foolish
i am
i know
but i heal
i will twirl through space
through the sky
worse thing that could happen is
i could cry
but i can heal
salt and heat can
heal
heal me me my own me
so mother
please please
unstick me
from your love