Automatic Writing.

by P R I N C E S S Sun 14 Dec 2008, 2:52 pm

AuI just want to go to bed now. I can't think about anything else, I can't breath properly, my throat hurts from sleeping with my mouth open everynight because my nose gets blocked when I cry myself to sleep. I have no dinner because mum drove Katie to Yummy Noodle for them but didn't get me any and I'm not in the mood to cook, not even quiche. I stayed in bed almost all day and I'm still tired because I can't leep I just lie there for hours and hours. I can't stop thinking about us. I can't stop being afraid that you won't want me back, that you don't need me anymore or that you will never make your mind up and I will just be waiting forever. R maybe you just keep saying idk on principle, just because I keep asking, just to be consistant. It wouldn't be the first time, it scares me that you might do that, especially about something so serious. My biggest fear is that you will find someone better, someone funnier, nicer, less clingy, better looking, less needy and demanding, someone who treats you perfectly, how you deserve, someone who could do a far better job, so your forget about me and our plans and everything we had. I just can't do this. I can't keep waiting. But I can't push an answer because I'll get one I don't like. I'm lost I don't know what to do. Where to turn. That's the problem see, you were like my best friend as well so I don't even have one of those to talk to, at least you have Miss Cremond if you need her. idk I just need you. I can't not be us. We were perfect. I think you were more a part of me than I even realised.

Fuck I can't do this.