Eating Disorders

by .::[fading~obsession]::. Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:08 pm

Many people see it as something the sufferer chooses to do or even sees it as a thing of vanity. I my dears am here to correct those poor misinformed individuals.
Eating disorders are about control. You feel you have no control over anything in your life and you need to be able to control something! Food and weight being the easiest.

Many will argue "Oh! But it isn't control coz you lose control and etc. etc. etc. we've heard it all before..."
I'd like to explain that we don't think of it like that at first, and in most cases don't intend on developing an ED (though of course we already have...) and think 'Yeah, I'll stop when I get to X weight...'

I'd also like to say that it isn't as simple as just stopping, or just 'eating a damn sandwich'... Eating Disorders 489824

It is a tough thing to break!
If I may I'd like to share something a little personal with you.
I myself suffer from Anorexia Bulimia. I was previously just Anorexic but this relapse (it's my second relapse) I've begun purging too. I want to get better and hate myself for purging this time around but it isn't an easy disease to beat.

People seem to think that shouting at someone to go eat or to stop will help. It doesn't.
It gives us the feeling of more control if we ignore you and keep right on going!
So what do you think we're going to do? Listen to you? Or get our control fix?

by quinn allman's hair. Mon 18 May 2009, 7:11 pm

in most cases don't intend on developing an ED (though of course we already have...) and think 'Yeah, I'll stop when I get to X weight...'

I think that relative to most cases. I know I keep putting what I suppose to be happiness in a smaller number. It's always the same ashamed, disgusted and empty feeling though.

What bugs me though, is when people blame the media for the large amount of ED's in society now days. I mean sure, it's somewhat to blame, but you can always turn the tv off or put the magazine down.

I've found the bigger problem to be those around me. The ones that tell me that I'm "looking better" or the ones always on health kicks and diets. It might just be me, but I think they hold a larger sway with me than the entire media business. Neutral

by LightningRod Mon 18 May 2009, 9:22 pm

Not necessarily does every single person with an ED decide that ignoring everyone telling them to stop etc. will give them more control. I for one [and I know a few others] feel it got worse when people ignored you when you said about it, feeling that when someone said something about it [even if it was harsh] at least people knew and thus they felt slightly more secur about it.

And I agree with the point about the media, but when the media has such a huge influence and a massive area in which this influence can be used, it's very hard to just "Turn the TV off or put the magazine down", when somewhere else it's going to be there.

by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** Mon 18 May 2009, 9:50 pm

I have something to say on the matter of control:

At first, I thought it was stupid too. I didn't want control; I could control anything I liked. If I wanted school to stop, I didn't go. If I wanted reality to stop, I could drink. If I wanted life to stop, I could kill myself. Consciously, I had control.

But then, during cognitive behavioural therapy with one of my psychologists, he explained to me exactly what they meant by control.

We were actually discussing my OCD, but it still applied - what they mean isn't conscious control of your life, but rather, your mind's subconscious control over what it will let you care about.

He demonstrated with the idea of being on a wobbly bridge. The bridge is reality - life, the universe, all the things we normally concentrate on. Obviously, it's dangerous, and scary, and not something we can control. So, if our brain can jump from that bridge - to, say, an island, which might be OCD, might be an ED, might be an addiction - it will. Because even though that island is tiny and dangerous, it FEELS stable, and it allows your subconscious to feel safe.

That really opened my eyes, because he made me realise that whilst no, it isn't a choice, it IS about control, almost always - we just can't consciously see it.

And, I do agree - for me, it was my self image that drove me to starve. While I did use Ryan Ross as my inspiration (not thinspiration - fuck I hate that word; I hate all 'pro-ana') it was that I wanted to be good enough, wanted to be pretty, wanted to be skinny. it wasn't because I felt that being skinny was being attractive, it was because I'd been unhealthily slim my whole life, so my OWN perspective was skewed into thinking that gaining weight was making me ugly.

by Jack Skellington Tue 19 May 2009, 4:59 am

My sister is a slowly recovering anorexic. It's not necessarily that she said "I wanna look like (insert famous name here)", it was "I want to be skinny." Ever since she started, her temper grew shorter, and she was always cranky. She still is. >.<

She's in therapy for it. There's these family session things, but I can't go to them anymore. It's too painful.

by bittersweet. Tue 19 May 2009, 6:33 am

My sister is/was an anorexic. Looking back, it was years in the making before we noticed.

Her recovery and therapy was total hell for everyone. She had all these classes, and she kept losing weight through all of it. She went off to college and she was still trying to lose. She finally broke and started getting better. She's mostly recovered at this point.

She would not stop passing the buck, though. She would always point to how little I eat or when I skip meals and try to get me labeled anorexic. She still does, actually. [And I still point out that I'm trying to gain weight.]

I also have a friend or two who're struggling with it.

by Adrisole Q. Kazoo Tue 19 May 2009, 7:20 am

by **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN** Tue 19 May 2009, 5:59 pm

I think a really important thing is not to blame anyone. While it's hard to have someone point out your flaws, especially when they're so obviously blind to their own, it's obvious that them trying to shift the blame is a coping mechanism. I guess it's something that takes a lot of sitting dwn and working out every time it happens to keep from any damage being done.

Not to say that you guys are, obviously. Just, it's something that happened a lot between my mother and I when I was sick, and I realise now that we could have delt with it a LOT better.

For example; she'd tell me I was just like the girls in hollywood (which was untrue) I'd tell her that if she had raised me to have better self esteem and not alway talked about her weight in front of me then it would matter less (mildly true) and then she'd tell me that I never listened to her (not true) and I'd say she never cared enough to talk to me (not true) and everyone would end up hurt.

And, jenna, don't let them push you around Mad

it's just as ridiculous to make fun of someone for being thin as it is to make fun of someone for being fat.

by death till we part Sun 07 Jun 2009, 8:25 am

I have a warped view of weight. I've always been underweight, but everytime I gain weight (naturally) I can't stand it. I try to push it to the back of my mind, but it's not that easy. I'm so borderline eating disorder that if my life keeps going on like it is, I know I will get one.

I want to be special, different, I want people to like me, and when I get attention for being skinny, I'm just like "Yes. Someone thinks I'm pretty.". But all of my life I've had people enquire as to whether I am anorexic, even my own mother. If you hear something for too long you start to believe it.

by noro Fri 03 Jul 2009, 1:49 pm

I hate the fact that there are such things as eating disorders and other categories that others can push people into, just because they look a certain way.

I've actually lost a lot of weight from when I went to the hospital and every time I go to school, these two girls who I call my friends always call me either anorexic or fat. If I lose weight, they call me anorexic, if I gain weight, they call me fat. It's confusing and I don't know what to do anymore.

But to be honest, I can't help but say that I like the fact that I've lost weight, even with the consequences of it. I like myself better now than before, even if I was at a normal weight. I tested myself on that BMI calculator and it said that I'm underweight. But I like it.

I hated myself before, I just... fucking hated it. My face, my body, my everything, I wouldn't go out if I looked in the mirror and didn't like the way I looked. I grew into an unhealthy obsession over my self-image and I got so obsessive over it that I started throwing up everything I ate.

I didn't like myself, so I thought, why would anyone like me either? It wasn't that I didn't have friends or I had a sad life or that I even fucking wanted to be skinny, I just figured that if I hurt myself in some way, I'd get attention and people would actually care for me.

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