It's not my weekend.
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It's not my weekend.
by LADIES AND GENTLEMEN Thu 02 Apr 2009, 5:06 pm
Ever try to catch a butterfly?
They're impossible. They're beautiful a bright and fleeting, like teenaged happiness, like childhood, like your hopes and dreams, like you whole fucking life with the way they twist and turn, spiral updownbackfront, side to side, sway to and fro with the same unpredictability of a swing coming unhinged.
It's leaps and jumps, it's reaching, missing, trying again and again no matter how many times you fall, til your jeans are ripped and so is the flesh underneath, and you're not sure if it's dirt staining your clothes or smeared blood. But it's worth the pain because it's so beautiful; it's so free - look at it. And if you can't have that freedom then you should take the botterfly's, and maybe you can share. Maybe it can fix it somehow.
And there's that moment where you think you have it - you're so sure if you peek inside your cupped hands, it will be there, flapping and twisting and still so gorgeous in its desperation to reclaim that freedom you so desperately long for a taste of.
For those moments you feel your heart beat in time with the flutter of its wings - fly with the butterfly, soar out of your chest, beating right up your throat through your mouth and bringing with it excitement enough for you to choke on. But who needs oxygen when you have this?
And, then, you peek inside your cupped hands, and... and they're empty.
And you got so worked up over the thought that you had it, that when you look back up, it's gone. And so was your shot.
Maybe you'll have to wait minutes for another try, maybe days. Maybe til next spring. Maybe forever.
It's not my weekend.
It's not my year.
They're impossible. They're beautiful a bright and fleeting, like teenaged happiness, like childhood, like your hopes and dreams, like you whole fucking life with the way they twist and turn, spiral updownbackfront, side to side, sway to and fro with the same unpredictability of a swing coming unhinged.
It's leaps and jumps, it's reaching, missing, trying again and again no matter how many times you fall, til your jeans are ripped and so is the flesh underneath, and you're not sure if it's dirt staining your clothes or smeared blood. But it's worth the pain because it's so beautiful; it's so free - look at it. And if you can't have that freedom then you should take the botterfly's, and maybe you can share. Maybe it can fix it somehow.
And there's that moment where you think you have it - you're so sure if you peek inside your cupped hands, it will be there, flapping and twisting and still so gorgeous in its desperation to reclaim that freedom you so desperately long for a taste of.
For those moments you feel your heart beat in time with the flutter of its wings - fly with the butterfly, soar out of your chest, beating right up your throat through your mouth and bringing with it excitement enough for you to choke on. But who needs oxygen when you have this?
And, then, you peek inside your cupped hands, and... and they're empty.
And you got so worked up over the thought that you had it, that when you look back up, it's gone. And so was your shot.
Maybe you'll have to wait minutes for another try, maybe days. Maybe til next spring. Maybe forever.
It's not my weekend.
It's not my year.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN- Administrator.
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Number of posts : 3875
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Re: It's not my weekend.
by proust. Thu 02 Apr 2009, 7:01 pm
When I was little, around 9 or 10, I caught a butterfly larvae and kept it in a jar until it turned into a butterfly and then set it free. If you can't find one, you could buy them online. I /know/ you meant it figuratively, but I highly recommend the experience anyway. It's exhilarating. I think things like these make weekends and years and lives, not big goals or ideas.
proust.- New Recruit
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Number of posts : 385
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Re: It's not my weekend.
by LADIES AND GENTLEMEN Thu 02 Apr 2009, 7:24 pm
I kind of like that idea. I might try it.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN- Administrator.
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Number of posts : 3875
Age : 31
Location : living the street rat nightlife -
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